Grumpcrushing Granita

Feeling a bit dry after last night – maybe a little less claret next time – I turn to the fridge-freezer in the hope of blowing the cobwebs from behind my ears with a refreshing snack. It’s pretty empty so I’m going to return to an old favourite, one that is fun enough to make even the grumpiest specimen chipper – the granita. It’s going to take a couple of hours to make but will be worth every second of the nauseating hangover. Granita is the easiest light ‘pudding’ known to man, short of buying something, which, for the record, is a massive copout. It needs at least 2-3 hours, depending on quantity, to freeze so do keep that in mind.

To make granita, all that is required is the freezing and occasional disturbing of a flavoured liquid mixed with sugar syrup, the end result is essentially a coarse-crystal sorbet. The flavoured liquid can contain anything you desire, within reason; as funny as it would be, beef granita probably ain’t gonna fly. Fruit juices, herbs, spices and purees (that aren’t too thick) can all go towards flavouring the ice. I’m going to base mine on citrus fruits, and those of you that know me well will recognise this recipe as my regular nightcap – citrus, ginger, mint and a splash of booze for good measure – but frozen. Coffee, strawberry and blueberry, and watermelon also make great granitas. If you want to substantiate the icy nibble, a scoop of vanilla ice cream goes very well with any granita.

No patience, couldn't wait two hours. Basically citrus slush puppy. Opps.

Couldn’t wait two hours. No patience results in citrus slush puppy. Oops.

Ingredients:

200ml water
175g caster sugar
7 peeled ginger root slices (~3mm thick)
zest of 2 lemons
zest of 2 oranges
500ml fresh lemon and orange juice (lots of fruit)
150ml soda water
5 splashes of angostura bitters
1 small handful of chopped mint

Preparation & Directions:

Put a steel mixing bowl, or something similar, in the freezer.

Start by creating the sugar syrup: add water, sugar, ginger slices and zests into a saucepan, heat until the sugar has completely dissolved and then remove from the heat. Sieve syrup to remove zest and ginger slices. Squeeze the fruits and strain the juices – use carton juice, if you must – and add the product to the zesty, ginger syrup. Pour your mixture into the chilled mixing bowl. Stir in the bitters, chopped mint and soda water, and return to the freezer.

After 30 minutes, give it a quick stir, take any ice crystals that may have formed at the edges and move them into the centre. Repeat this every half an hour until all you have is a bunch of zesty crystals, at least two hours.

Enjoy your zesty snack!

Pro-tip: If you ‘accidentally’ make too much syrup save the excess for flavoured boozy beverages.

Larry Lamb in the Style of a Whore (alla Puttanesca)

I do enjoy a good bit o’ lamb. I also enjoy anchovies, to the point where I could eat an entire jar, straight from said jar. Bringing my two loves together, I’ve created Lamb Shank alla Puttanesca – the ultimate surf and turf.

The lamb shank – the lower part of Larry Lamb’s leg – is in general a super cheap cut of meat, the exception being central London of course. Our capital is seeing a major increase in shank popularity, it’s becoming a window piece for trendy butchers as well as an up-and-coming dish for higher tier restaurants. All of this ensures that we have to fork out a little more of our hard earned penny if we want zone 1 lamb. This resurgence of the shank is hardly surprising; it looks fantastic when stood proudly atop a creamy mash base, and, when braised for an indulgent period of time, is tenderer than you can possibly believe. Compound these attributes with the fact that you can stick several in a casserole and leave them to do their own thing whilst you continue to prepare other courses, have an apéritif (or three) or even take a bath, and you’re onto a real winner. So yes, the lamb shank is back and it looks like it’s here to stay. Hurray!

rngne

ménage à shank

Puttanesca, a salty tomato sauce that originates from Naples, Italy, is to be slopped all over spaghetti – Spaghetti alla Puttanesca – and consists mainly of anchovies, capers, garlic and olives immersed in chopped tomatoes. The olives will be dropped here though. The word ‘puttanesca’ derives from ‘puttana’ – the Italian for whore – and so ‘alla puttanesca’ is roughly translated to ‘in the style of a whore’. There are several tales that you can find on the Internet but the exact origin of the saucy title remains unclear, it’s true however that most stories are based on just how ‘quick and easy’ the sauce is to make. Oh, how this tickles me!

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Abraising!

Ingredients:

2 or 3 lamb shanks
1 slug of oil
salt and pepper
4 garlic cloves, finely chopped
150ml good red wine
150ml stock of your choice
6 anchovy fillets, coarsely chopped
2 bay leaves
3 rosemary sprigs
800g chopped tomatoes
2 Tbsp tomato purée
1 Tbsp capers
1 Tbsp basil, chopped
some creamy mash potato

Preparation & Cooking:

Preheat the oven to 170°C. Roll the shanks in salt and pepper then place them into a sufficiently large casserole with a splash of oil. Put the lid on and place over medium-high heat until nicely browned all over, 7-10 minutes.

Remove the shanks and put to one side. Fry the garlic in the casserole for 2 minutes. Add the stock and wine, and let simmer for a couple of minutes.

Add the bay leaves, rosemary sprigs, chopped tomatoes, tomato purée and 3 of the anchovy fillets. Return to a boil and put the shanks back into the casserole with the sauce. Put the lid on and return to the oven to simmer until cooked. The shanks are perfectly cooked when the meat is almost falling from the bone, roughly 3 hours. Hopefully, the shank meat is completely submerged in the sauce – it doesn’t matter if a bit of bone breaches the surface – if not, add some more chopped tomatoes and stock, and return to a boil. Alternatively, roll the shanks over every 40 minutes, spooning some sauce onto the tip of the lambberg each time.

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Triumph

Once cooked, remove the shanks from the sauce and set aside to rest. Put the casserole on medium-high heat and add the basil, capers and the rest of the anchovies to the sauce. Simmer and stir for 3-4 minutes.

Carefully place each shank on a bed of creamy mash potato, pour on some sauce and tuck in!

Pasta alla Carbonara

As I’ve been busy this couple of days, today’s entry is the seemingly simple pasta (spaghetti) alla carbonara. For somebody new to cooking who wants to master a classic pasta dish, there are few better places to start than the carbonara. Combining egg, cheese and pig with pasta just can’t go wrong. Having said that, the dish throws up a few dangerous pitfalls that must be heeded in order to avoid complete disaster. Carbonara can easily become a sopping, sloppy mess or spaghetti littered with nuggets of crusty scrambled eggs. Yuck. Unhappily, I have suffered both of these equally unpleasant end results, the former in Rome too. One can avoid the risk of a sloppy endgame by sticking to a recipe that doesn’t use cream and/or wine, and personally, I think it’s better for it. Therefore, and I’m sure you agree, it’s time to raise some consciousness around the issue of bad carbonara.

Ingredients: (serves 3 big mouths)

400g spaghetti (or any pasta of your choosing)
2 garlic cloves, peeled and squashed
olive oil
175g cubed pancetta, rind removed (lardons)
pepper
3 eggs, beaten
75g Parmesan/pecorino, finely grated
1 big bunch of fresh parsley, finely chopped

Preparation & Cooking:

Boil spaghetti in salted water until al dente. While pasta cooks, squash garlic cloves with the side of a knife and add to a frying pan with some oil and the lardons. Fry until the lardons are crispy and beginning to brown slightly, 5 minutes. Discard garlic cloves, remove from heat and set aside.

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Pig & Pasta

Once spaghetti is cooked al dente, drain thoroughly and return to the pan. In a bowl, beat eggs and mix with most of the cheese – saving some for garnish – parsley and some pepper. Pour this into the pan with the spaghetti, add the pancetta too, and toss over a low heat. It is essential to toss rather than stir, without a vertical motion you are guaranteed to end up with some scrambled egg floating around, spoiling it for everybody.

Postscript:

Garnish with grated Parmesan, chopped parsley, and pepper. Wrap it around your fork and pop it in your gob.